Friday, November 21, 2008

Wilkomen to Gustav's Interfest!

Hallo Everyone! Allow me to introduce myself ya? My name is Gustav Johan Wolfgang Amadeusswaggen. If you cannot already tell by my name's impressive girth, I am German. And we Germans are experts in all things beer, pop music, wiener tasting, and of course, technology. So welcome to my internet blog and web video show, "Gustav's Interfest"! We will talk about all the wonderful people who live and work on the internet.

You are excited ya? Sure you are. Only a dumbkoff would be bored by the Internet. But don't worry, we will not show nor discuss Pandas peeing on Zoo webcams or David Hasselhoff's hamburger eating fiasco on YouTube. Unless of course, the Pandas pee on Hasselhoff's hamburger. That would be MOST entertaining. Why, you may ask, is a German of all people hassling the 'Hoff? I will explain later, when I have calmed down a bit. The mere mention of the 'Hoff is enough to make me reach for Das Boot (both the movie and a Glass Boot filled with beer). The two combined together can be quite devastating for a German.

First of all, I should warn you I am a very serious about my love of technology. I have been blogging since I was but a boy of 5. That was before internets of course, but I would insist on blogging anyway.

Now back to the Hasslehoff issue. Another reason I have embraced technology is I am working once and for all to put an end to Herr Hasselhoff's career as a rampaging alcoholic murderer. Murderer you may say?

We all know meat is murder and he did indeed murder that hamburger on YouTube, but I am talking about something far more sinister. Let me explain:

In the 1980's their was the pop music sensation FALCO. Perhaps the greatest pop star the world has ever known. In Germany he was god, and still is to the cultured and sophisticated, second only to Amadeus in talent and musical virility.

Then, the dark times came. A poorly engineered car that could talk but would have it's bumper blasted by a Sunday autobahn driver arrived in Germany, driven by the Antichrist himself, David Hasslehoff. A wolf in sheep's clothing (and sometimes worse; a speedo), he convinced the German people he was their pop music savior. His California mullet cast a shadow so dark, the light of Falco began to wane. And then, the unthinkable; Falco died in automobile accident in the Dominican Republic in 1998. No one has ever confirmed the whereabouts of the evil Kit (Hasselfhoff's auto-conspirator) during this time, and Hasselhoff went on to dominate the German pop charts well into our modern era.

I swear, one day I will bring the might forces of the internet down upon David and bring an end to the Hasselhoff's hassling of German pop music, and restore the glorious and most lovely Falco to his rightful status as the king of German pop. In the meantime, I will educate the world about all things technological via my wonderful internet video blog. As well as watching the Hamburger Hassle video over and over and over again. So fun ya!

So, I will see you again shortly. Until then, Auf Wiedersehen! Enjoy my interview with Martin Rincon of Martini Design, an official "Gustav's Interfest" sponsor.

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