Thursday, December 11, 2008

When Sausage and Earth collide

A horrifying thought kommen to me, one that fails to be ascertained by those of lesser non-teutonic minds, and that's this:

What if a GIANT SAUSAGE from OUTER SPACE hit the earth? We make so much fuss of ze asteroids and comets, but what about an ET Sausage?

Imagine what would happen to the poor Dinosaurs if it hit. They would certainly become extinct. (Some people think they are extinct now. But those same people also think David Hasselhoff is a hero to the German people, when he is really the antichrist in a speedo. Falco's murderer. I should stop now before I work myself into a Baywatch VHS-burning frenzy).


Are the people of Earth prepared for this eventuallity? Certainly not, except for...of course (proud to say) ze German People!

Why do I say this you ask? Well, no American team of Space Cowboy Oil-Drillers can do much to stop a Tumbling Meat Turd as it speeden zi towards Earth. So why bother? Let it hit. The German people will simply use two hands instead of one to hold their Beers as the concussion ricochets around zi earth and then simply take the Sausage Shrapnel and EAT IT (see video). It's that simple.

So there you have it! No worries. The Fatherland will go on to be a shining light in a glorious new age, free of Dinosaurs, Murderers in Speedos, and Space Cowboys who think they can act.


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